Deidara's Fever
by UtauTachi
Summary: Deidara falls (or rather, explodes himself) into a lake and develops a fever. Sasori offers to take care of him in this mildly fluffy humor. No lemons...for now.


Deidara lay in his bed, biting his lip to hold back soft panting as the Akatsuki stared down at him.

"Geez Sasori, you must have fucked him pretty hard last night, huh?"

"Go to hell, Hidan." Sasori retorted with a sigh. His lover gazed up at him pitifully, his face a deep maroon shade. Itachi placed his hand upon the younger man's forehead.

"It's a fever, as I expected. Perhaps we should leave, seeing as this is no environment for a sick person. I trust you can take care of him, Konan?"

She rolled her eyes and glared at him.

"I'm busy." she said simply. "Why do you expect me to take care of him, anyway? Because I'm a woman?" Sasori watched intently as the two feuded. "I can handle it. The two of us don't have any assignments so it should be fine."

She pondered the idea for a moment with a frown. "All right. Just make sure you keep him warm, and have him drink plenty of fluids-" Hidan burst into laughter and she glared at him. "Go to hell, Hidan, you know what I meant." she snapped. He raised his hands defensively. "Why is everyone on my case?" he whined. "Because you're aggravating. Let's go before we all catch whatever that lousy punk has." Kakuzu growled, leaving with the Akatsuki trailing behind him. 

Left in the room together, Sasori glanced down at his partner. Deidara turned away quickly, pulling the blanket over him. Smiling, he began to undo the blond's ponytail and let his long hair fall onto the pillow.

"It was just so tight, I thought you might get uncomfortable." he claimed. Deidara's eyes widened and he blushed madly (for those of you who don't understand why, you might want to have Hidan explain it to you). "You're looking pretty red, guess I should go and grab a wet rag or something. Do you need anything while I'm down there?" Sasori asked quietly. He shook his head and suddenly flinched, gripping the sheets.

"M-Maybe something to get rid of this headache." he murmured through grit teeth.

-

Sasori returned upstairs with a cloth in one hand and herbal tea in the other. "You're starting to act like Konan, you know that?" Deidara murmured. He threw the cloth at his partner's head.

"Drink this. I don't know if it'll be any good but it should help relax you." he said as he handed him the cup. Deidara took one small sip and spit it out all over the floor. "The hell did you do? All the tea leaves are still in the cup!" he yelled hoarsely. "They weren't supposed to be...?" Sasori asked with a look of utter confusion.

His partner sighed and started to cough violently. Quickly, the puppet master rushed to his aid, rubbing his back soothingly. "Quit- *cough* touching me!" Deidara snapped, pushing him away. He gasped for air and finally drew a long, semi-steady breath. "How the hell did this even happen..." he muttered. Sasori sat on the bed next to him, relieved to hear him breathing easily again. "Well, had you not fallen into the lake..."

FRASHUBRACKU:

"Quit fooling around, brat." Sasori hollered at the proud Iwagakure ninja.

"Shut up, un! It's faster to just skate across the lake than walk around it!" Deidara retorted with a laugh. The two were on their way back to Akatsuki's hideout after a long (and failed) mission, willing to get home quickly due to the frigid cold. While Sasori patiently tread through the snowy ground, Deidara was zipping across the frozen body of water like a little kid.

Suddenly, he heard Sasori frantically yell "Look out!" He whipped around and realized a clay bomb had fallen out of his cloak and detonated. The ice shattered beneath him, pulling the poor artist into the deep, cold slush and water. He splashed about, screaming and hollering in agony.  
Sasori dived into the water, feeling nothing because he was made of wood (b-but he still has a heart and emotions! .) and yanked him out onto the far side of the cracked ice.

As he easily lifted himself out of the water, Sasori noticed that his partner was huddled on the cold ground motionless, not even shivering. "Deidara? Deidara!" he cried out, shaking him. He didn't stir in the slightest. With a heavy sigh, Sasori hoisted him up and carried him bridal style back to the hideout. (And Sasuke took three episodes to kill him, coulda just thrown him in a cold lake.)

MOAR FRASHUBACKU.

"N-Nnn...Huh?" Deidara slowly opened his eyes and saw that he was lying on the couch in the living room (I won't go over this again. The Akatsuki HQ is a house. A HOUSE. FILLED WITH COUCHES AND...HOUSE THINGS. LIKE KONAN).

Very slowly, he lifted himself up and the room spun around him. _Maybe if I walk quietly, I can make it back to my room without any questions_ he thought to himself, remembering what happened out in the lake. Undoubtly someone would think he was sick, and hell, maybe he was, but that wouldn't stop him. _Just a little nap and I'll be back on my feet. Just gotta make sure no one notices..._

He took two steps towards the stairs and suddenly...

"Deidara?"

Damn.

"Sasori no Danna! How's it going? I was just headed upstairs to do stuff, yeah. I'm totally fine."

"For one thing, I didn't even ask, and for another, you're sweating. Do you have a fever?"

"No way! It's just really hot in here, un!"

"Deidara, it's snowing."

_Damn_.

"W-Well, it's hot in HERE. And um...I..." The room starting morphing again. He clutched his head, willing it away. It didn't work.

"You are sick, aren't you?" Sasori inquired. It was more of a rhetorical question, really. With the strength practically sucked out of him, Deidara nodded pathetically. "I'll be all right..." he whispered quietly.

"Let's head upstairs, I'll take care of you." Sasori offered.

"Danna, I'm really not in the mood for sex right now." he whimpered.

"That isn't what I meant, you brat! You've been through enough, go ahead and get some sleep." he reassured him, caressing his cheek. "Promise you won't let Hidan rape me in the middle of the night?" Deidara asked. "I swear," Sasori said with a chuckle. "Go to sleep." With an unusual respect for his elder, he hesitantly obliged and stumbled off to bed.

"Oh yeah," Deidara recalled. "We didn't really need that flashback, it happened a day ago." Sasori muttered. The blond ninja sneezed rapidly into the crook of his elbow and sniffed. He was miserable. Sweaty, exhausted and miserable.

"Dannaaaa...I'm bored. Make me feel better already!" Deidara whined. He weakly coughed and sighed. If there was one thing in the world he hated, and he hated a lot of things, it was lying in a bed doing nothing all day.

"Can I make some clay bombs?"

"No."

"Can I sharpen my kunai?"

"No."

"...is everlasting art better than explosions?"

"Yes."

Deidara slapped himself in the face and flopped back down, worn out. He was still freezing, despite the vast amount of blankets thrown on top of him. Underneath that pile of warmth, he was shivering and couldn't rid himself of the wet, cold feeling he had in the lake.

"One more thing, Danna..." Sasori cringed. "What." Having been badgered by the obnoxious brat for two hours, the one and only thing he wanted to do was give him a big ol' slap to the face like always (shouting out to you, Yukari.)

"Will you...lay down next to me?" he asked with a blush. Sasori was taken aback. After careful consideration, he sighed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to rest for a while myself." He crawled into the bed, hiding a smile as Deidara wrapped his arms around him. Sasori stroked his hair (HAIR. Not...you know, that other area.) comfortingly, feeling his eyelids droop until they were too heavy to lift anymore.

"'Night, Sasori no Danna." Deidara mumbled breathily.

"Goodnight, brat."


End file.
